Welcome to Fat Bear Week at Mashable! Each fall, Katmai National Park holds a competition as Alaska’s brown bears finish fattening up for their long winter hibernation. This year, Mashable is getting in on the salmon-munching action. Check back with us all week as we follow the fat bear face-offs each day, and remember to get your votes in for each round. Happy fishing!
While most people’s eyes are on the real-life bears of Alaska and their quest to get as large as possible, we wanted to pay homage to some of the most famous bears in the world: fictional bears. Some are animated, some are CGI, some preach law and family values, and some just suck! Here are some of the most famous bears in fiction, ranked from worst to best.
Ted is perhaps one of the rudest and crudest bears to ever exist. He’s not the kindest or most thoughtful bear, despite being magically brought to life with a child’s wish and a shooting star. In fact, he kinda sucks. Yes, Ted is at times a victim of society (and a kidnapping) but that doesn’t change the fact that he sucks.
15. The bear from The Revenant
Let’s be honest: A lot of us want to fight Leo DiCaprio, but this fictitious bear took it too far. Revenant bear’s big scene is brutal; between cries of agony from DiCaprio as Hugh Glass, the bear throws him around like a rag doll while tiny chunks of flesh fly into the air, turning the film’s hero into an active kill. By the time Glass stabs Revenant bear in the face, all we feel is sweet relief.
14. Waldo – Black Mirror
Waldo is a fictional bear even in his own universe, a hologram-slash-puppet voiced by Jamie (Daniel Rigby). When Waldo runs for political office on a lark, the lines between satire and sincerity fade, and he becomes a dangerous demagogue embodying the ugliness of the masses.
13. Lots-o’-Huggin’ Bear – Toy Story 3
Lots-o seems like you’re average benevolent mentor who smells of strawberries until he turns out to be a terrifying villain in Toy Story 3. Fueled by bitterness and abandonment issues, he rules ruthlessly over Sunnyside Daycare and is ready to murder all our favorite toys in the incinerator because he thinks no one will ever love any of them. Does someone need a hug?
12. Bosco – Avatar: The Last Airbender
In a world populated by flying bison, badger-monkeys, and platypus-bears, Bosco is a bit of an anomaly as an actual bear. He’s so special that the Earth King throws him a birthday party in “City of Walls and Secrets,” which allows Aang and the rest of Team Avatar to sneak in and seek an audience with the Earth King. Later on, Bosco and Kuei travel the world incognito, and he later dies at an old age before Kuei’s daughter eats him.
11. Po – Kung Fu Panda
One of the few bears that knows martial arts, Po from Kung Fu Panda is an exemplary bear who not only exceeds expectations set against him, he befriends everybody thanks to his culinary skills and charm. Plus he defeats an evil kung fu warrior named Tai Lung, making him a hero.
10. Bear – Bear in the Big Blue House
Bear from Bear in the Big Blue House is a very large, kind, and giving bear who runs a big blue house where he takes care of his various animal companions. He’s a true friend and is even friends with the moon.
9. Yogi Bear
Yogi Bear is the everyman of bears. He’s a confident bear that’s just trying to get by, maybe grab the occasional errant pic-a-nic basket. Who can’t relate to Yogi Bear?
8. The Berenstain Bears
This literary bear family taught us important lessons as children, and shocked us as adults when they were possibly key evidence in the existence of alternate realities (or, you know, bad memory). Did the Berenstein Bears existence in another universe that we once lived in but now lost? Is anything real??
7. The Care Bears
There’s a Care Bear for everybody, which is what makes them so great. With dozens of bears popping up throughout the decades of Care Bear history, we’ve been treated to some real gems like Sweet Dreams Bear, Do Your Best Bear, and Birthday Bear each with their own charming, positive qualities that make them shine in unique ways, reminding us all that variety is what makes the human race so great.
6. Angus – Night in the Woods
Angus, while a relatively quiet character in Night in the Woods, is a very compelling bear. He had a very difficult past with an abusive mother but he has turned some of that pain into some deep caring for his friends and boyfriend Gregg. Angus also happens to be the only bear on this list who is also a bear, which makes him just slightly more of a bear than all these other bears.
5. Smokey Bear
No bear has helped the world as much as Smokey Bear. Since his inception in 1944, Smokey Bear has been a representative for safe camping practices and forest fire prevention. By pointing out that only WE can prevent forest fires and reminding us to be careful about fires, Smokey has probably single-handedly helped thousands of people stop catastrophic forest fires.
The titular star of the Corduroy children’s books, Corduroy is an adorable teddy bear who has free reign on the department store he’s for sale in after dark. What does he do with that freedom? He tries to find a button to fix his overalls and make himself more appealing to the parent of a child that wants him. But there’s nothing wrong with Corduroy. He is perfect.
3. Winnie the Pooh
It’s been almost a century since A.A. Milne introduced this bear, who has since charmed generations of children hoping for adventure in the Hundred-Acre Wood. Pooh is kind, loyal, and a bit of a silly-billy (as the song goes) who loses his self control around honey, but we can relate.
2. Baloo – The Jungle Book
Has there ever been a bear more friendly, more helpful (if slightly corrupt), more musically inclined about pragmatism than Baloo? He befriends a human and takes Mowgli under his wing when the boy leaves Bageera, and though he doesn’t always have his new friend’s best interests at heart, he gets there in the end.
1. Paddington Bear
Oh Paddington, you sweet, sweet bear. A hyper-intelligent species of bear from the jungles of Peru, Paddington is a bright, shining light in these dark times. Paddington is a selfless, loving, gem of a mammal. He’s basically a teddy bear incarnate but made extra adorable with his iconic red hat and blue coat.