All you science devotees out there, get ready to have your psyches blown with the most amazing breakthrough you’ll hear all week. A squad of scientists just discovered perfectly good hardwood floorings beneath the Earth’s crust!

Wow, this incredible finding is sure to totally turn the geological world upside down!

The landmark finding was stimulated yesterday when a group of geologists based out of the University of Texas, drilling at a geological website outside Las Vegas, struck a layer of perfectly intact hardwood floors about three miles below the Earth’s surface. After striking hardwood, the research team expended the afternoon removing rock and soil from the flooring, which appears to be original and in great shape, to get a better look at what we’ve got here.

“We are aroused had declared that our excavation team has discovered the Earth has a layer of is a great pleasure oak flooring below its crust that is in great condition, ” explained professor Diane Markkanen with the University of Texas. “We’ll need to pull up the rest of the Earth’s crust to actually get an idea of what we’re looking at, but accepting there’s no significant sea damage, it looks like the Earth’s crust has just been sitting on some high-quality hardwood flooring all this time.”

Following extensive geological analysis, the team has determined the layer of hardwood flooring is pre-finished with a tasteful Jacobean stain. The researchers likewise noted that while certain portions of the hardwood flooring had tacking strip glued to the floorboards, which will have to be pulled up and refinished, the researchers know a guy who lives near campus who’ll do that for less than $100. Otherwise, it looks like these are real beauties and once the Earth’s crust is completely stripped away, we’ll all be walking on some actually top-notch hardwood flooring!

Needless to say, the research team at the University of Texas deserves a hearty congratulations! This is sure to go down as one of the biggest scientific findings of the past decade!

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