We don’t mean to be alarmist, but everything and everybody is trying to kill you. If nuclear winter and climate change don’t got to get, auto-erotic asphyxiation certainly will. Truly, the only safe thing to do is barricade yourself in a shelter and have undertaken to a life of hermitage and normal, boring wanks. But even embracing life as a bunker weirdo won’t save you. That’s right, your impending death is coming from inside the house .

5

Scented Products Leave Behind Particles That Turn Into Formaldehyde

After a long day, what’s better than lighting a few cases scented candles, sinking into a hot bath, and surrendering yourself to the sweet smell of death? That’s basically what you’re doing if you use scented candles, air fresheners, or any number of products that exude fragrant substances into the air. These chemicals, once released, react with the ozone to produce formaldehyde — you know, the stuff they use to pickle corpses. Becomes out it’s not great to breathe in, making anything from minor irritation to cancer.

How can any of this be legal? Well, the thing is, the products don’t contain the harmful chemicals themselves, and under the correct situations, it’s not a problem. In ye olden days, where individuals had to endure the frights of a slight draft now and then, household air circulation was good enough that the formaldehyde particles ran right out the window, along with any money you spent on hot. Now those particles are trapped by our energy efficient windows, gradually entombing us with the smell of cinnamon bun. There is hope, though. Certain houseplants can counteract these effects by absorbing the substances, so that’s one route to keep your home smelling like an old lady’s handbag without risking a slow death.

Madaise/ flickr Though one of those is the spider plant. The last thing you need is some toxic chemical reaction mutating that thing.

4

CFL Bulbs Emit UV Radiation And Could Cause Cancer

Let’s be honest: If you’re reading this site, you’re likely the indoor kind. You’re more likely to get certain kinds of nerd cancer from snuggling up to a reading lamp or something than from frolicking in the sun the working day. No truly, you actually can. In a 2012 survey, CFL light bulbs were found to radiate enough UV radiation to damage human skin.

The cause is tiny little fissures in the bulbs’ phosphor varnish, which is a byproduct of the manufacturing process. We’re not talking a rare imperfection; every single bulb tested featured these cracks, and thus the fatality rays. To protect yourself, the researchers propose staying at least one or two feet away from the bulb and placing a glass shield over them. But it may already be too late. How many sleepless nighttimes have you spent reading A Song Of Ice And Fire volumes under trade secrets cancer machine already? Better run see your nerdologist and get your nerd skin checked.

Really, do get that checked, though. Skin cancer is serious.

3

Antibacterial Products Could Harm Fetuses

We tend to be a bit overprotective of our newest humans. A bottle of Purell practically pops out right along the placenta and is passed around to all prospective cuddlers.( The hand sanitizer , not the placenta .) But it turns out that such products are even worse for you than previously known, and we already knew they’ve generated super germs.

Dr_Microbe/ iStock Everything comes at a price, and apparently the cost for clean hands is antibiotic-resistant staph.

Two common chemicals found in antibacterial products, triclosan and triclocarban, have been detected in the urine of pregnant people, who tend to have a lot of the stuff. It was also found in the umbilical cord blood of their fetuses, entailing it was successfully being transferred from parent to newborn. Whatever advantages these products might have, there’s a reason we’re discouraged from jostle them up our various orifices. These compounds can lead to cancer, reproductive difficulties, and developed abnormalities. Welcome to the world, kid — you just got this torso, and it’s already jacked up.

2

Cosmetics Leave A Lasting Chemical Coating That Alters The Bacteria Living On Your Skin

Choosing the rainbow glitter pomegranate torso wash doesn’t seem like it should be that big of a commitment, but that stuff sticks around a lot longer than you think. Researchers recently recruited a few surprisingly open-minded volunteers, then tracked the movement of every molecule on every surface of their bodies. They couldn’t recognize the majority of members of the molecules, which seems troubling, but most of the ones they could recognize were from cosmetic products. Continue in intellect, these subjects were instructed not to rain or use any kind of soaps or cosmetics for three days beforehand.

Theodore Alexandrov/ PNAS Good look for Comic-Con , not so great as a chemical contamination map.

This means that everything you slather and spray on yourself stays around for at least three days, even after you “wash it off.” That’s bad, because there appears to be a relationship between different cosmetic chemicals and different kinds of bacteria. For example, on one subject’s torso, an area containing a substance frequently used in sunscreen also displayed significantly elevated bacteria growth. If you needed another reason to turn down the guy marinated in Axe body spray, there you go. It’s practically a sexually transmitted disease.

1

Tons Of Foods Contain A Colorant That Induces Cancer In Rats

Titanium dioxide is the stuff many companies use to turn products like toothpaste and candy white. The difficulty is that it’s also easily assimilated by the bowels of mammals, and a recent investigate found that rats whose water was laced with titanium dioxide indicated a 40 percent growing of precancerous cells in their bowels and colons, as well as weakened immune systems. A bigger problem: The report specifically notes further that these rats ingested sums similar to what humen are exposed to through a totally normal diet.

Environ Sci Technol Which is to say damn near everything you eat.

The researchers are careful to note that these results can’t inevitably be extrapolated to humen, who are now famously not rats. This is just the first step toward assessing how it affects us. In the meantime, to be safe, perhaps stop doing literally anything. Because if you appear hard enough, route down at the very molecular level, you’ll observe that everything in this universe detests you and wants you to die.

If you’d still like your house to not smell like old pizza boxes and wet dog while not being all unhealthy, you can try an essential petroleums diffuser .

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